She Loves Me Not
by Nevaeh
Summary: This is a songfic to the song "She Loves Me Not" by Papa Roach. It's about Inuyasha as he looks on Kagome and his relationship and how he fights with himself about it. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!


Author's note: Hey! I know this is kinda of an odd song fic to do but I think it totally fits what Inuyasha would think about his relationship with Kagome and how he fights with himself over it. Ok well I hope you like this song fic, read and enjoy ^-^ Oh and don't forget to REVIEW!!!! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: No, it's true I don't own Inuyasha nor do I claim ownership, blah, blah, you get the point. ^_^  
  
"She Loves Me Not" By: Nevaeh Song by: Papa Roach  
  
Carnival music is heard in the back round  
  
He sits up in a nearby tree watching the Ferris wheel as it turned lazily. Here he was in this stupid outfit of 'jeans', he thought that's what they called them and a baggy red shirt. Styles of clothes in this era were really strange. This thought though only seemed to float on the surface of what he was really thinking about. Kagome wanted to drag him to this stupid carnival. He had better things to do such as collect jewel shards, needless to say Kagome wasn't too happy about that.  
  
When I see her eyes.  
  
He leaned back against the tree as memories started to come back. Kagome looked over and smiled happily even though her face was streaked with dirt and grim from the last battle that had raged.  
  
Look into my eyes, then I realize that she could see inside my head.  
  
Inuyasha looks at her an expression of surprise on his face as he blinked, usually after such a big battle she would just sit down and state what a goner she thought she was. He kinda liked this change, it was kinda..well. He didn't know how to put it. Kagome's smile brightened at him. Inuyasha on the other hand just turned away blushing at little at the thought that Kagome could actually be bearable.  
  
So I close my eyes thinking I could hide.  
  
Inuyasha shakes his head letting the memory fade as he closed his eyes. He remembered how many times when she smiled he would kinda feel like smiling back, but each time he would shout some rude one-liner to her and the moment would vanish and he would be safe.  
  
Disassociate so I won't have to lose my head, this situation leads to agitation.  
  
Sure he had fallen love before and look where it had led him. "Pined to a damn tree for fifty years!" he growled as he slammed his fist into the tree he leaned against. He couldn't fall for that stupid trick all over again, could he?  
  
Will she cut me off? Will this me my amputation?  
  
He couldn't let his guard down as he did before, because he knew it would happen all over again. The betrayal, the hatred, it would return. He knew she would turn on him just when he thought he was safe, however a small voice in the back of his head said that maybe he was wrong, after all their travels together he learned Kagome and Kikyo were two separate people.  
  
I don't know if I care, I'm the jerk, life's not fair.  
  
Inuyasha growled as he opened his eyes. He didn't care about her, "Stupid wench." he muttered. He didn't care about that stupid girl that put his back out rather painfully that one time. The memory of this made his back ache even now.  
  
Fighting all the time this is out of line.  
  
How many times had he fought demons to collect the jewel shards because she broke the jewel. How many times had he fought and bled because he had to protect her. He sighed as his stupidity, for he found he had saved her time and time again...  
  
She loves me not, loves me not.  
  
"Who the hell am I fooling?" he thought out loud, anger at himself. Why was he sticking his neck out for her when he knew the fact that she'd one day turn on him? History does repeat itself does it not?  
  
Do you realize I won't compromise, She loves me not, loves me not.  
  
He stood up in the tree holding on to another branch that was close to his head for balance, as he looked at carnival out beyond. 'I'll deal with her until all the shards are collected then I'll become a full fledged demon and she'll go home.' He decided determinedly as he suppressed the small voice that spoke defiantly.  
  
Over the past five years, I have shed my tears, I have drank my beers and watched my fears fly away.  
  
Then he remembered, though it pained him to do so, how those few days felt when Kikyo and him were at peace and how they planned things out for their futures. He then remembered how it all changed one day... how he stole the jewel and how she imprisoned him.  
  
Until this day, she still swings my way,  
  
Inuyasha hated how now that Kagome and Kikyo were separate, he could see Kikyo just as before, though he knew Kikyo felt nothing both hatred towards him and wanted revenge. That was all that could be made of Kikyo and his relationship now, what was once theirs was completely gone. Inuyasha knew this and had let the hope of returning to that relationship die long ago.  
  
It's sad to say sometimes she says she loves me not,  
  
That relationship and taught him the true meaning of betrayal and hatred, and how love had the ability to turn into these things in a spilt second. Now he used what he had learned in this new relationship with Kagome. He won't let it get that far.  
  
But I hesitate to her I hate this relationship, I want out today, this is over.  
  
Yet that small voice reminded him how many times he wanted to tell her how he hated her and how he would stop himself, for some strange reason. It also reminded him how he protected her without thinking twice about it.  
  
I don't know if I care, I'm the jerk, life's not fair.  
  
Inuyasha sighed as his anger seemed to subdue for a while. He knew at times when he hid his own emotions he would think of something to say to save himself from that fall. He admitted to himself, that sometimes those things he said were uncalled for. He smirked a little, "And sometimes they were."  
  
Fighting all the time, this out of line, she loves me not, loves me not, do you realize I won't compromise, she loves me not, loves me not, life's not fair, I'm the jerk.  
  
He shook his head wondering why he doubted himself, hadn't he already settled how this would end? How many times had Kagome and him fought. This was proof enough that it would never work out, wasn't it? He leaned back against the tree as another thought struck him, how many times had he started the fight?  
  
Line for line, rhyme for rhyme, sometimes we be fightin' all the god**** time.  
  
He looked up as another memory came to mind. Kagome yelled at him, her tone full of irritation. He couldn't remember what they were fighting about; they fought so often it sort of just kinda blended after a while. He shouted back with just as much annoyance as her. "Fighting for us is a natural occurrence." He chuckled.  
  
It's making me sick, this relationship is getting ill, piss, drunk, stupid.  
  
He turned his back, crossing his arms, too angry to say anything more. Kagome on ther other hand stormed off. Inuyasha pushed the memory away as he jumped to a branch higher up, not really knowing way. Maybe it was to get away from the memories, but another one came whether he liked it or not. It was the time Kagome shouted 'Sit!' so many times his back when out and that huge boulder landed on him. He growled obviously remembering this incident clearly.  
  
Mad, on the real, could you feel what I feel, what's the deal girl, we're tearing up each others world.  
  
Fights of the past came to him, whether it was in this strange time or that of his own. They crammed into this mind, until they blurred, most of them over small useless trivial matters he discovered.  
  
We should be in harmony boy and girl, that is the promise we made, back in the day we told each other things wouldn't be this way.  
  
His mind landed on one last memory, that of him and Kikyo promising each other. It was a promise to be broken though, but still, he couldn't shake that feeling he had when he was around her back then. "But look how that turned out." he muttered.  
  
I think we should work this out, it's alright baby we can scream and shout.  
  
Yeah Kagome and he did fight a lot but there were times when he actually enjoyed having her around. She was helpful to find the jewel shards and she could see things he couldn't, such as Yura's hair that one time. Maybe it would be ok, maybe it would work out. This thought stunned him though, it strangely appealed to him.  
  
I don't know if I care, I'm the jerk, life's not fair.  
  
He sighed wondering why he always had to shout at her when he felt the slightest feeling of security around her. He knew though why he did so, and what would happen if he did let himself fall. It would end like it did with Kikyo. He jumped suddenly, a little surprised at his own feelings. He didn't seem to care; he didn't seem to care if it did. Those feelings during those few days with Kikyo had taught him it was all worth it.  
  
Fighting all the time this is out of line, she loves me not, loves me not, do you realize I won't compromise, she loves me not, loves me not.  
  
A snap of a nearby twig brought his attention around to his surroundings. A familiar scent erased all sense of alertness as he realized who it was. Kagome emerged from the bushes as she dusted off her new outfit. She looked up seeing Inuyasha high in the tree. He looked away as if he could careless. She knew however that he knew she was here. She slowly walked over to the tree and looked up. "I know you won't apologize but I am going to anyway, I'm sorry I know I can't drag you to the carnival if you don't want to come but.." it seemed Kagome was trying her best to sound sincere, "I would really like it if you'd come." She smiled up at him.  
  
Life's not fair, life's not fair, life's not fair.  
  
He let out a deep sigh as he jumped down, "Are you really so hyped up about this stupid carnival?" he asked. He wondered if anything was wrong with him. Was he really going to go to this carnival with her? Kagome blinked surprised at him. Was he really going to go? "Y-yes!" she nodded still a little stunted.  
  
I'm the jerk, life's not fair.  
  
He shook his head he needed his head examined. He himself couldn't believe he was going through with this. He didn't see what was so special about the carnival anyway. "Fine," he muttered, "Let's go." Inuyasha was taken by surprise as Kagome ran up to him gave him a quick hug. "Thank you!" she smiled, "Come on and hurry or we might miss something." She replied as she grabbed his hand and started to haul him off.  
  
She loves me not, loves me not.  
  
'Did she just hug me?!?' Inuyasha thought with disbelief as a new feeling seemed to change him. He twitched his ears finding this new feeling a little strange but familiar. That was when it dawned on him. His ears and hair, not many people had sliver hair or ears in this time. He stopped letting their hands drop. If stunning himself still to find that he was reluctant to do such. "What's wrong?" Kagome asked as she turned around. He only pointed to his ears twitching them a little to get the point across. "Oh that, not a problem." She smiled as she reached into her bag. She pulled out the must ridiculous hat he had ever seen. It was really tall and striped, one of those idiotic carnival hats he had seen some people wear earlier today. She placed it on his head covering his ears. "Ok, now come on." She said as she grabbed his hand once more and tugged him along.  
  
Carnival music is now heard in back round.  
  
He knew he looked like an idiot with this thing on, but he a small smile appeared on his face as that strange feeling began to change his thinking. He realized as he could hear the carnival music coming closer, that he didn't care what he looked like. 


End file.
